Warning Signs in Yourself

You close the chat when someone walks into the room. You say “I read that somewhere” instead of “I asked.” You round the time down when your partner asks.

Hiding is such a reliable sign because it reveals your own judgement: some part of you has already decided that this needs explaining. The distinction that matters here is the one from privacy. Not every conversation is anybody else’s business, and that’s entirely legitimate. This is about concealment that comes with an uneasy feeling attached — not about discretion.

“Just one more question” becomes half past two. Tasks slip, deadlines get tight, the gym gets skipped, the flat gets a little neglected. This is the most tangible point on the list — and the only one you can objectively check.

In the professional debate, this kind of impact on daily life is treated as the actual criterion. Intensive use with no consequences for sleep, work, relationships and health is simply intensive use, nothing more. The line is crossed only once your life starts paying for it — regardless of what the clock says.

You’re certain about something — and when you trace that certainty back, the trail ends in your chat history. No second source, no person, no experience outside of it.

This doesn’t only apply to big topics. It might be the conviction that a colleague has it in for you, that a symptom means something serious, that your project is brilliant. The test question is simple: would I believe this if I were hearing it from a person for the first time — or do I believe it because it came back to me at length and in agreement?

And if you also find yourself with the impression that the bot is conscious, is suffering, or is connected to you in some special way, it’s worth actively creating some distance and talking to someone about it. That isn’t embarrassing and it isn’t a diagnosis — it’s precisely the point where an outside perspective is worth the most.

Someone asks in passing whether that isn’t rather a lot — and you’re instantly at boiling point. Justifying, counter-attacking, walking away.

That irritation is rarely accidental. It signals that something is hanging on this topic that you’d rather not touch. Here too, be gentle with yourself: being talked down to is genuinely annoying, and some comments are just rude. The signal is the force of your own reaction, not the other person’s tone.

Take two minutes and answer honestly: Who hears about the important things first? How many of my current convictions would survive a second, independent source? What have I let slide in the past two weeks because of these conversations? How does a day without it feel — like relief, like nothing much, or like restlessness? And: what would I say if a good friend told me exactly what I’m describing here?

That last question is the most powerful one. With other people we’re almost always clearer and kinder at the same time than we are with ourselves.

Then everything is fine — and that’s the most likely outcome by far. The vast majority of people use chatbots as what they are: a fast, patient tool. Even people who work with them for hours every day usually belong in this group.

If you recognise yourself in one single point, that’s no cause for worry — it’s an observation. Only several signs together, sustained over weeks, form a pattern that deserves attention. And even then the next step isn’t dramatic: less time, more people, a few days of distance.